Industrial progress in Pakistan (literary satire)
by, Naseer Ahmed
Irene: Could you please tell us me what kind of industries your country has progressed in?
Joker: Well dear, there are so many.
Irene: Please name a few.
Joker: The Beauty of Cause Industry.
Irene: What is that?
Joker: That is about our experiments about locating the beauty in a cause in order create the beauty in the effects.
Irene: Awesome, any other example?
Joker: The Concessions to Examples Industry
Irene: And what is that about?
Joker: Whenever anybody replicates an example, we give him special concessions.
Irene: Wonderful, that means a real facilitating environment for thriving businesses.
Joker: Well, hmmm, ummm, huh, and we have this Industry called ‘Cancelling of Quality’ Industry
Irene: Well, that sounds a bit dodgy.
Joker: Not dodgier than what goes on here. You could call it a bit of deregulation in order to fast track a few things.
Related: Consultation by, Naseer Ahmed
Fun and political correctness by, Naseer Ahmed
Irene: I understand. Any other industry?
Joker: We have done well this Industry of Vagueness.
Irene: That I know very well. But you could give your take on it.
Joker: Well, dear, this industry is something like advertising where we keep things vague in order to attract the consumers.
Irene: That sounds a bit like Burqa. I … I am sorry dear, I did not mean anything offensive to your culture. You know I am not a racist bitch. I apologise.
Joker: Oh please don’t. Let me tell you about this Industry which we named as Industry of Absurdity.
Irene: That sounds like rubbish management.
Joker: Well, you always lead me to wonderful ideas. It is a bit like creating dumping sites for unpleasant stuff, but you could recycle it as something real wonderful. It is just you have to know the right people.
Irene: Your industries are quite interesting. Tell me a bit more about them.
Joker: I have to go to see Caroline.
Irene: That is lovely. Say my hello to her.
Joker: I would but I would tell you one more Industry we have developed real good.
Irene: And what is that
Joker: It is the Industry of Exaggerations.
Irene: You mean media.
Joker: It is everywhere. Media is just one outlet. You could find its products in homes, in offices, on the streets, in the sea, on the beaches, almost everywhere.
Irene: And what are the products of these industries?
Joker: Heart broken lovers, crap and wonderful poets and stupid ideologues.
Irene: What do you mean?
Joker: I was just writing you up. These industries are nothing but a few poetic techniques in Urdu. The word for these techniques is ‘San’at ‘ which could be translated as industry in the business context. That’s all.
Irene: hahaha, thou art a joker.
(Just to wire up Urdu Poetry Freaks)