Industrial progress in Pakistan (literary satire)

Naseer Ahmed
نصیر احمد

Industrial progress in Pakistan (literary satire)

by, Naseer Ahmed

Irene: Could you please tell us me what kind of industries your country has progressed in?

Joker: Well dear, there are so many.

Irene: Please name a few.

Joker: The Beauty of Cause Industry.

Irene: What is that?

Joker: That is about our experiments about locating the beauty in a cause in order create the beauty in the effects.

Irene: Awesome, any other example?

Joker: The Concessions to Examples Industry

Irene: And what is that about?

Joker: Whenever anybody replicates an example, we give him special concessions.

Irene: Wonderful, that means a real facilitating environment for thriving businesses.

Joker: Well, hmmm, ummm, huh, and we have this Industry called ‘Cancelling of Quality’ Industry

Irene: Well, that sounds a bit dodgy.

Joker: Not dodgier than what goes on here. You could call it a bit of deregulation in order to fast track a few things.

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Irene: I understand. Any other industry?

Joker: We have done well this Industry of Vagueness.

Irene: That I know very well. But you could give your take on it.

Joker: Well, dear, this industry is something like advertising where we keep things vague in order to attract the consumers.

Irene: That sounds a bit like Burqa. I … I am sorry dear, I did not mean anything offensive to your culture. You know I am not a racist bitch. I apologise.

Joker: Oh please don’t. Let me tell you about this Industry which we named as Industry of Absurdity.

Irene: That sounds like rubbish management.

Joker: Well, you always lead me to wonderful ideas. It is a bit like creating dumping sites for unpleasant stuff, but you could recycle it as something real wonderful. It is just you have to know the right people.

Irene: Your industries are quite interesting. Tell me a bit more about them.

Joker: I have to go to see Caroline.

Irene: That is lovely. Say my hello to her.

Joker: I would but I would tell you one more Industry we have developed real good.

Irene: And what is that

Joker: It is the Industry of Exaggerations.

Irene: You mean media.

Joker: It is everywhere. Media is just one outlet. You could find its products in homes, in offices, on the streets, in the sea, on the beaches, almost everywhere.

Irene: And what are the products of these industries?

Joker: Heart broken lovers, crap and wonderful poets and stupid ideologues.

Irene: What do you mean?

Joker: I was just writing you up. These industries are nothing but a few poetic techniques in Urdu. The word for these techniques is ‘San’at ‘ which could be translated as industry in the business context. That’s all.

Irene: hahaha, thou art a joker.

(Just to wire up Urdu Poetry Freaks)